Dead things

Everybody keeps DEAD THINGS in their refrigerators so I don't know what all the fuss is about. Yeah OK it's mostly VEGETABLES and stuff.

There seems to be a great tradition on the INTERNET of listing the contents of people's refrigerators and freezer so here goes:

• A pack of super-economy hamburgers


• Two halves of cats (front ends)


• Frozen Pizza


• A skunk (fresh)


• Three groundhogs


• 37 Eggs


• Six deep-frozen hamsters


• Slugs and snails


• Puppy dogs tails


• A hubcab from an AMC Gremlin


• Entrails (mixed)


• Enbalming fluid (six pack)


• Microwave fries


• A locked metal box, contents unknown


• String


• K-Y jelly (plain, not flavored)


• Jello (flavored, not plain)

Dogs

They say a dog is a man's best friend. Well let me TELL YOU PAL - NO FREAKING FRIEND OF MINE EATS HIS DINNER OFF THE FLOOR. (Apart from CLYDE that is but then he has ISSUES with tables. Weird guy if you ask me).

WOOF FREAKIN' WOOF. Watch out for the CHILLI-COATED FRISBEE, FIDO! Harharhar.
Frankly what use is a DOG anyway? If I wanna FRIGHTEN the MAILMAN I can do it MYSELF.

I'm pretty good at chasing CATS too come to think of it.
(By the way I found out that a HOT DOG should contain no actual real DOG)