Swine Flu CONSPIRACY

Whatever you've heard about this SWINE FLU thing is WRONG. Turns out that there is a huge conspiracy to cover up what is REALLY happening.

I read this on the web, so it must be TRUE. This H1N1 thing turns people into ZOMBIES. Yeah, really ZOMBIES. That's why there's so much panic over it.

I asked my friend Clyde about it. He was pretty hard to understand cuz he was COUGHING and SNEEZING a lot. He said it was all true because he'd read it on the web somewhere.

So I'm gonna HOLE UP in my apartment with all the TINNED FOOD I can find. I'm not allowed to have FIREARMS so I'm gonna improvise something with LEAD PELLETS and a VACUUM CLEANER. Those zombies better WATCH OUT!